HW10: Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

SUMMARY, CONCLUSION, RECOMMENDATIONS

Summary

This paper has attempted to determine and provide the effects of social media to Filipino college students’ romantic relationships.

Descriptive research method was used for this study, wherein informations used are gathered from online articles and answers from the online survey provided.  The research findings are:

1. All of the classifications of social media has been the most commonly used medium of people on reaching out to others.  It is being used for the purpose of keeping their connection to each other.
2. Romantic relationships, on the other hand, would never be phased out of the picture – especially for Filipinos.  Traditions and cultures related to it are still being practiced and passed along from one generation to another.
3. Similar with previous researches, social media has been proved to be affecting the Filipino culture on romantic relationships – both positively and negatively – through the convenience that the former provides to its users.

Conclusions

Based on the findings of this study, the following conclusions are drawn:

1. Filipinos are sticking with their traditions and culture.  However, with change continuously being offered, traditions and culture are being affected, therefore changing the usual traditions giving it a modern touch.
2. Social media do sustain relationships, as long as it is just used for means of communication of each party. It shall not be used in excess of what it offers, otherwise it would destroy one’s romantic relationship.

Recommendations

After drawing the conclusions of the study, the research hereby make the following suggestions/recommendations:

1. People should still share their experiences on handling their relationships, especially with social media affecting it, so that many would be learning on it.  However, one should not broadcast everything. Experiences shared should only be minimal so that no party would be judged blindly by their social media friends or even by strangers who would be reading their posts or comments.
2. Life is pretty much easier with social media. Although, making an account on it should not interfere with one’s personal life.  One should still be able to balance his personal and internet-based life equally – or maybe more on personal. If not, social media could be running one’s life for him without even noticing.

HW9: Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

DISCUSSION

What have been the effect of social media to its users’ romantic relationships?

Definition and classifications of social media.

Social media is usually defined as a common platform wherein individuals and communities create and share common interests to one another.  It may also be known as a group of applications which is built, established, and operates within the internet to be used by netizens in creating and exchanging user-generated contents.

Nowadays, it is often used as the new means of communication.  Some people use social media as their way of shouting their minds out, as their way of expressing what they feel.  However, some may have over used the easy access that social medias provide which makes them experience its negative effects.

Social media are on different forms, such as forums, weblogs, podcast, social networks, and more.  However, social networking sites – or simply social networking – has been the most common of all social media’s forms.

How could have social media helped people?

     A. Positive Effects
According to previous studies made in the United States, it has been a fact that social media has caused multiple changes for its users in many different aspects.  The most common help that social media had for its users is the convenience that it serves to every user for them either communicate to their friends and relatives, or meet new set of people, or even both.

Interpersonal relationships became an easy thing to do with the help of social media.  With just a few clicks, communicating or expressing one’s self became easy. Making new friends are just chats away. A few common friends are the usual key to meeting new set of people.

As said, it is already given that communication is one of the most common benefit that social media can offer.  Convenient way of communicating to one’s family whom they haven’t seen in years, who are a number of islands away, or even those who are continents away from them.  However, as Filipinos, “family” does not only pertain to those whom they are related by blood, but also those who are merely close to them at heart.

Moreover, according to a book written by Naomi S. Baron, having an account on different types of social medias – and being ‘always on’ can have an impact on one’s personal relationship more than its impact on the written language.  It has been showed in a study conducted before that many people choose to communicate online since they have the choice on who to talk to and who to ignore.

     B. Negative Effects
Although, another research shows that social media may have a negative impact on students.  The result of the said research includes the effectiveness of students when he/she is doing a certain task with and without constant checking on their social media accounts.  The more times the student checks on his/her social media account, the more un-productive they become.

Many people also think that the use of social media should be made along-side personal interaction, otherwise, one will end up prioritizing social media more than anything else.  Also, in the survey made recently made for college students, most of the respondents answered that social media may be used to express one’s feelings towards another.  But some says doing such is inappropriate.

With most of the people today, it is not hard to cope up and adjust to every change that social media has to offer.  Probably because social media is no longer new to these users.  Even the changes it brings to the romantic relationships of many are still considered – although not that seriously.

Filipino Culture on Romantic Relationships: Then vs. Now

Filipinos are being known for being loving and caring to the people closest to their hearts.  However, in the rise of social media, relationships have not been an exception to the changes that social media has in-store.

     A. Then: Traditions and culture
Every Filipino have probably heard of the traditions and culture of the Philippines when it comes to romantic relationships – especially in courting. How years ago, men are more than willing to do anything just to win the heart of the woman that they love.

Those years sound to be the one of the sweetest.  Seeing a man exert so much effort just to prove his love to a woman could be the sweetest thing a woman could ever imagine, and a man could ever do.

However, stories have also been going around being passed from one generation to the other were heard by some people. Stories which are about the typical Filipina who takes her family’s opinions very seriously. Somewhat like just speaking out the decision of the whole family to her suitor.  But just like any other story, this is not applied to every girl who gets the chance to be courted. Other girls just consider their families opinions but would still decide for themselves.

As said, this tradition has been the sign of sincerity of a man towards a woman. Although, as years passed and changes occur, social media had also started making its way into people’s relationships.

     B. Now: With the help of social media
Relationships may start either through personal interactions, through social media or could even be through both. Not any of the three ways of starting a relationship ensures a long and lasting one, but all surely promises of happy times with the one you love.

Relationships which started from personal interactions are the usuals. A man proving his love to a woman, getting to know each other, or simply going out and have dinner or watch movies – these could possibly be one of the most memorable things that a man can offer or give to a woman.  However, with social media, everything had become so much easier.

Meeting new people have never been easier.  Even the way of communicating to a special someone was made easy by social media.  Snail mails, phone pals, and pen pals are some of the most used ways of communicating.  But not anymore.  Social networking and dating sites have been starting to take over the internet for people to meet another who could be the one that they have been long looking for – or maybe the one whom they would consider becoming their lifetime partner.

However, Filipinos probably adapted the American way of dating. Most Filipinos nowadays have not been taking their relationships as seriously as how their ancestors have. “Modern” Filipinos have been easily affected by what is served to them, thus, making their relationships easily affected by even the simplest misunderstanding.

But still, many are choosing the old-school way of courting. They say it is still the same old way of showing one’s sincerity to another.  Although, since social media have been in the scene for quite some time now, it is not totally ignored.  Some still take some time to “stalk” and get to know another.  Personal communication would still be the choice of many when it comes to expressing their feelings towards the other.  They say personal efforts look and sound more sincere rather than those done through social media.

Nevertheless, according to a survey made recently, most of the respondents – who are mostly teens – had a united idea of how relationships could be sustained.  According to them, trust, communication, honesty, love, understanding, and loyalty should be made and exercised by both parties for their relationship to last.

HW8: Go move and skip the drama. ;)

The drama of people who are experiencing heart aches are no longer new to any one who has a Facebook account.  So, being one of the many who has an account – and is a constant user – on Facebook, I have seen different types of dramas.

Anyways, as I am browsing through Facebook just to see the usual dramas on it, I decided to just find and do something worth more of my time.  I succeeded, and found an infographic article entitled “Social Media’s Effect on Romantic Relationships” by Diana Adams on Bit Rebels.

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I enjoyed reading the post. Well, I can think of two reasons why I enjoyed it: (1) it was infographical – which is not really a usual thing – and (2) funny but full of sense informations are indicated – no unnecessary dramas, just facts.

According to the article, social media now plays a role on relationship developments. In which I agree.  Maybe our generation would be the one who could really tell which is better – the traditional style or the modern style.  However, social media – especially Facebook – has been one of the most commonly used sites wherein people gather and share anything – even various comments on the simplest ideas – publicly.

Having an account on any social networking site allows one to share his/her life publicly to the world.  Even though he/she may say that his/her profile’s on private, his/her way of sharing things are still considered on public.  Moreover, these simple sharing of thoughts (or ideas) through social networks would be the way to meet their fate – their destiny.

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Many Americans – and now also Filipinos – have been signing up for accounts on dating sites to meet different people and be able to interact and/or meet someone whom they never thought would be a very important person in their lives.

According to the infographic of Ms. Adams, 30 million adults from the US have friends who found spouses and long-term partners online.  Although, social media does not only play a role on the beginning of each relationships.  It also takes part on break ups or even divorce of marriage.

As I have said, break ups and heart aches are the most common drama on Facebook.  I have many friends who are ranting on Facebook, and in the next minute have already changed their relationship status from “in a relationship” to “it’s complicated”.  Also, in the infographic that I have read, it says that some divorce lawyers have been checking or looking into Facebook for evidences to be used in the proceedings.  Also, stated in the infographic, social media is a divorce lawyer’s goldmine as described by Ms. Adams.

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As always, I believe that whatever result social media may cause to one’s relationship, it is dependent on the person’s decisions.  If he/she decided to make an account on social networking sites and post every little thing he/she does, then he/she must be whole-heartedly ready for the consequences that it may bring him/her – may it be good or bad.  He/she must have to deal with it and later on learn from his/her own experiences. :)

♥

HW7: It's just complicated.

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Have you had a fight with your boyfriend just because he found out that you talked to another guy through Facebook chat? Or you having a boyfriend goes out with some other guy who is not your boyfriend and vice versa? How about you going out with someone but is “not your boyfriend/girlfriend”? Well, yes, it’s complicated.

“It’s complicated” has been the new “trend” in terms of relationship status on Facebook nowadays.  I remember reading an article about this a few days ago. The article was entitled “Dating in the Philippines and the term ‘it’s complicated’”.  It was written by Panda B – the same writer of the previous article I have made a blog post about – in http://asianfriends.com.au/.

Her article was filled with funny – or atleast as how I see it – comments about the term “it’s complicated” being used by Filipinos to describe their relationship status.  She said that the trend of using this term as a description on one’s relationship status probably started with its use on Facebook.

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Panda B said that, “It was the typical answer of the people who are confused, unsure, bitter, and angry towards their or lack of their relationships. It is a fleeting, moving, and very fluid status as one would expect that the status would change in the next couple of days. Its shelf life is very determined to be living in a short span of time. The term may have satisfied the search for the label to go with what they feel regarding their relationships. And for Filipinos who are hopeless romantics, the “It’s complicated” seems to fit into their need.”
So much opinions from Panda B. Here goes mine. So, yes, I shall say that “it’s complicated” has now been in line with “single”, “in a relationship”, and “married”.  Many use this status – anyone who wishes may do so – in whatever way they want.  But with Filipinos, this status is most commonly used in describing their relationship status.

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Not being able to say out loud what you feel, Small fights which became a big issue just because of misunderstanding, or even right-love-at-the-wrong-time drama are the mostly used reasons for having a complicated relationship status.  But at the end of the day, it remains as just simply “single”, “in a relationship” or “married”.

Maybe “it’s complicated” will not have its ‘fame level’ lowered at the moment.  Not just yet.  Especially at this time when people have already placed this complicated status to a certain position on their minds.  How ‘bout you? What could you think of being “it’s complicated”? ;) ♥

HW6: Survey Report

To supplement my findings for my research paper, I have conducted a survey.  An online survey.  I asked my friends – and some of my relatives, too – who were all college students from different colleges/universities.  But as usual, it was not easy asking for a favor on ramdom people. I mean, on those who are not really close to you, right?

However, I have gathered twenty (20) respondents throughout the long weekend – starting Thursday until Sunday evening. As I have said, I made an online survey, and I did it through Google Drive.  It was an all-essay survey.  I had posted ten (10) questions, of which one (1) was just merely concerned with the gender of the respondent and the other nine (9) were related to either social media, romantic relationship, or the relation of both to each other.

Gender

Of the twenty respondents, seven (7) were male and the rest were female.  At first, my goal was to get equal numbers of respondents, but due to the lack of time, I decided to just deal with what I have gathered so far.  However, through the results, I have seen that the opinions of men differs from those of the women’s.  Although, it has been provided that all of the respondents have a common purpose for creating a social media account – to communicate and be kept in touch with their friends and relatives.

Three (3) of the questions were directly related to the effect of social media on romantic relationships, which are: (a) have you courted by (or have courted) someone with and without social media? What could be the difference?, (b) If you were to choose between courtship with or without social media, which would you choose? Why?, and (c) Do you think social media sustains (or destroys) romantic relationship? How?

Courting with or without social media

Most of my female respondents said that it is better to be courted the traditional way – or personally, at least – rather than be courted through social media. However, four out of the seven male respondents (about 57%) thinks that it is also better to court personally, for them to prove their sincerity in courting the girl that they like.

Moreover, four out of all the respondents (20%) would choose to be courted – or court – with the help of social media.  One say, social media may be a big help because most people tend to post their feelings on their social media accounts.  However, another said that “the help of social media would be fine as long as it would be more on communication rather than the courting itself”.  But still, at the end of the day, courting personally – or without social media – is still preferred over that of with the help of social media.

Social media sustains or destroys relationships

About 60% (12 out of 20 respondents), of which 10 are female and 2 are male, says that it depends on the couple whether social media would be a factor to sustain or destroy their relationship.  Of the 10 females, most of them pertains that social media would only be a help if it is used for constant communications, otherwise, it destroys.  However, both men who said that social media may sustain – but may also destroy – one’s relationship said that it just have to be used accordingly so that misunderstandings would be lessen.

Overall, my predictions are confirmed.  In the background of the survey that I wrote before, I have predicted that most would probably choose personal over that of with social media.  However, I have also seen for myself – as I have initially wanted – that social media really does not only provide negative effects to people, because most of my respondents are still being positively affected by social  media – especially with their relationships.

HW5: Actual Survey Questions

Here are the actual questions for my survey/interview:

1. Gender (Male/Female)
2. Do you have an account on any social networking site? Why did you make (or did not make) one? 
3. Have you met new friends - or anyone special - through social media? How did it helped?
4. Have you been courted (or have courted) by someone with and without social media? What could be the difference?
5. If you were to choose between courtship with or without social media, which would you choose? Why?
6. Do you think courting through social media helps? Why or why not? 
7. Should social media be used to express one's feelings? Why? 
8. What do you think is the best way of expressing your feelings? Why?
9. In your opinion, how can you sustain a relationship with your partner? 
10. Do you think courting through social media helps? Why or why not?

Please do take my survey. It would help a lot for my research study. The link is located at the right side of this page. Or you may simply click here. Thanks! ;)